May 29, 2010

No posts

...for a while. I've been sick for over a week now and haven't been able to leave the apartment. The last couple posts had been from when I had pre-scheduled them. It will be a while before I can get back on track.

It's times like these that I envy married people or those who live with their partner. At least they have someone to take care of them when they are weak and sick. I fucking hate being single and alone.

May 28, 2010

Two Cuties

at the cafe talking in Korean.

May 26, 2010

May 24, 2010

off topic: Third Date with Flutter

Metropolitan Museum of Art
my apartment(!)
Korean restaurant in my neighborhood 

hand holding
no hanky panky 

details of the date
very crowded museum, Picasso exhibit
Dean and Deluca for cappuccino
cab ride back to Queens
showed her my paintings
dinner: seafood pancake, Vietnamese rice noodles in soup, she picked up the tab

As I am writing this, I'm coming down with a summer cold, leaving me icky and weak. I wasn't feeling well towards the end of the date.

It is disconcerting that things haven't progressed on a physical level with Flutter. With each of my past dating experiences the progress was either very fast or not at all, so the inclination is to interpret this as a bad sign.

Also, I have had problems with Flutter's lack of communication between dates. We have never spoken by phone. Her emails are short and perfunctory. I have received a grand total of two text messages. Consequently, I feel doubt and worry when trying to interpret her level of interest when we are apart.

In summary, she barely communicates between dates and there has been no hint of sexual activity after three dates.

But...  somehow the situation is going very well.

When I saw her on the steps of the Met, I realized that in her presence, everything feels right in the universe. I don't worry about what to say or how to act. All the doubts and worries that well up between dates suddenly evaporate and there is a distant feeling of cosmic puzzle pieces locking into place. It's just so comfortable being together. We had a really good talk in the cab and over dinner and I think we really connected. If I'm not mistaken, we're dating now. There was a subtle, imperceptible shift, as if we are now in new territory. I feel a bit more relaxed as a result.

two things that will help me get through the week
1  She forgot her black scarf at my place. It's hanging in the closet next to my expensive jeans. It carries the scent of her perfume.

2  When she was at my place she confided that while at the museum, when I put my hand on her back, she felt a shudder run through her body.

May 22, 2010

In a Bad Mood

while drawing. The reason I was in a bad mood is that Flutter hadn't replied to my post-date email for four days. Is that rude? And what about having to wait over two weeks in between dates? Can you tell that Flutter has me wound up pretty tightly?

May 20, 2010

May 18, 2010

off topic: Second Date with Flutter

overall assessment of progress of courtship

beginning of date observations of Flutter
black print dress
doe eyes
10 minutes late but very cute
looked a bit tense from workday 

dinner location
Sala: Spanish tapas restaurant on Bowery and Great Jones Street
decor: cute, romantic
restaurant atmosphere: relaxed at first, very crowded and chaotic soon after

shrimp sauted in olive oil with garlic and Guindilla peppers
deep fried soft shell crab with spicy sauce (mmm...)
sliced Spanish chorizo toasted on bread

her: sangria
me: none

easy, interesting, much like before

second location – after dinner
Madame X Lounge on West Houston Street
decor: reminiscent of a bordello with red velvet cushioned love seats
music: downtempo

suitability of venue as a make out spot

physical contact
hand holding
kissing: extended and repeated
style of kissing: affectionate, lightly understated and exploratory (no heavy tongue action)

arousal level
her: moderately high, participated in very suggestive talk, relaxed body language, leaned in for kisses 
me: (refer to image of orange Crush bottle and imagine it has been continually shaken for three hours)

conclusion of date

romantic evening walk in the deserted Soho, holding hands
she thanked me for evening
passionate kiss goodnight at entrance to Prince Street subway 

pending plans
promised that she will come over for dinner

chance of sexual activity on said evening
very favorable

chance that she will stay the night

moderately favorable

signs that this is developing into a relationship

nagging worries that it still might somehow fizzle
clear and present, as I sent an email the next day and still haven't heard back

May 17, 2010

May 13, 2010

May 11, 2010

May 9, 2010

May 7, 2010

Older Woman

reading a Fern Michaels book at the library. Partway through my drawing she put on her coat, so I started again. She got up and left before I could finish the second drawing.

May 3, 2010

off topic: The Date with Ms Flutter

5:25 pm  I was incredibly nervous about this date. I emailed Snafu from work telling her I wished I could bring her along for moral support. She told me not to over think this and to remember that I'd been on dates with cute, smart women before. But what if Ms Flutter had changed her mind since the speed dating event and was no longer interested? Snafu reminded me that Flutter voluntarily agreed to go on a date with me and to have faith in that.

I ducked into the restroom at the office one last time to check my look in the mirror. I wore a funky blazer with a brocade flocking texture over a black button down shirt and my best Diesel jeans. I had brought out the big guns for this one.

I left work and arrived on St Marks a few minutes early and stopped into the nearby bookstore to pass time and calm my nerves. At 6:25 I walked over to the restaurant and as I came in, I saw an elegant looking lady sitting at the bar, her face turned to check her phone. I came closer and saw that it was Flutter. She looked different. Very professional. Before, there was a girlish air to her. Tonight she was a lady. She had on a conservative black print dress and she looked like, well, an attorney. A hot one.

We greeted each other. I gave her a hug and got us a table. The first thing I noticed was how she spoke very politely and formally. The other thing I noticed was that she had a... bangin' body. I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed the first time we met. Probably because I was so captivated by her doe eyes. I tried to concentrate and keep my game face on, but I could feel lust welling up on an unconscious level as we chatted. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I have an uncannily accurate eye for determining a woman's bra size. I struggled to stay focused. She complimented my brocade jacket. 36C registered in a distant corner of my mind.

After dinner we walked one block to a favorite Japanese dessert and tea house. We shared crème brûlée, chocolate soufflé and herbal tea. I noticed that she was laughing a lot, a good thing. I was able to keep up the pace of conversation, but everytime there was a pause I would gaze into her doe eyes and think about jumping her bones.

I had guessed that she was three or four years younger than me and she thought I was seven years younger. I asked her age in a round about way. 

"So what grade were you in when Top Gun was in the theaters?"

"I don't remember what year that came out."

"When I was a freshman in high school, Madonna was just getting popular. Duran Duran, Prince and Huey Lewis and the News were in the top 40."

She said it was the same for her, but she still suspected she was 4 years older than me. Finally I came out and told her what year I graduated high school and we found out that she was 4 days older than me. Two virgos.

We talked comfortably and with ease. She told me that when we met, she felt instantly at ease, like we could talk about anything. As she spoke I wished I could touch her face and hair.

We left the tea house and I put my arm around her as we walked to the subway. She seemed to be leaning in to me. Earlier, she told me that she has very old fashioned views about dating and I gauged my actions accordingly. I knew I wasn't going to kiss her tonight. In my mind I was multitasking. While we chatted and walked, I imagined ravishing her in fifteen different ways, with her wearing a power business suit.

I saw her off at the entrance to the 6 train, giving her a polite hug. I could feel my hormones bubbling like an over-carbonated bottle of Crush.

I thought to myself, this could be one of the great ones. If I can reel this one in, this could be big.

To be continued(?)

May 1, 2010