Apr 29, 2010

Weird Man

at the cafe. Never let yourself be cornered by this man, as he talks endlessly once he has a captive audience.

Apr 27, 2010

Funny Hat

man sitting hunched in the computer area of the library. As I drew, the sexy librarian lady was scolding some of the kids for using the computers without signing in properly.

Apr 25, 2010

Wearing a Fedora

and going blah blah blah, on an eternal phone conversation.
While I drew the fedora wearing Ms. Blah Blah Blah, a young man and woman at the table next to me were meeting for the first time from an online dating site. Hearing their conversation made me a bit sad because I've had so many of those awkward first date conversations. Their interaction was polite, but they weren't clicking. The woman seemed a bit nervous and not especially engaged in the conversation. The man seemed genuine and easy going, trying his best to make conversation and put her at ease. But I could tell they weren't into each other.

On the walk home, I glanced into the Japanese restaurant and I saw a young couple and their two tiny children having dinner. It made me even sadder than listening to the listless first date.

off topic: Speed Dating

Recently I attended a speed dating event. The result? Out of the eight speed dates I met, not one of them matched back with me wanting to meet again for a date. Am I so bad?

Not getting picked by any of my speed dates made me feel like a prize reject, but there is a silver lining to this dark cloud.

To begin, let me state that I am not weird, creepy or socially awkward (Snafugirl can vouch for that). I had good rapport with each woman and the conversation flowed easily. I was dressed nicely– distressed indigo Monarchy jeans with tear detailing on the back pockets, a wool charcoal blazer over a light blue 7 Diamonds shirt.

At the event the men moved from table to table in eight minute intervals. Most of the women were polite, some were quite nice and a few were cute. Towards the end of the event, while sitting at table number six I noticed the woman one table over. I felt that little flutter inside that happens when you fancy someone you haven't met.

When it was time, I moved and sat down with Ms Flutter. I was about to introduce myself when someone behind me called out and said that I was at the wrong table. I got up and moved, while looking regretfully into Ms Flutter's doe eyes. Apparently she was in a different group so we wouldn't be matched up.

After meeting with the remaining two women, I planned to go back and meet Ms Flutter. But right as the event ended, an alpha male dashed over and sat with her. In an effort to stall, I went back to talking with the last woman I had spoken with.

This particular woman had a bossy, older sister demeanor. Bossy and I traded harmless banter but there was one point when she actually angered me. She asked why things didn't work out with my ex and when I refused to answer, she prodded me. Wrong move. I am very protective about my ex. Memories of I–, of her elegant beauty and gentle manner, floated up in my mind and contrasted harshly with Bossy, sitting before me.

Occasionally I looked over at Alpha Male and Ms Flutter to assess the situation. Alpha Male was doing quite well. He was making Ms Flutter laugh and their conversation flowed endlessly.

Not long after, all the other people left and only the four of us remained. Then Alpha Male and Ms Flutter got up and left together. The situation was now lost. My heart sank as I listened to Bossy yammer on and on. I got up and politely made my exit.

I was about to descend the circular stairwell to the downstairs restrooms when I saw a woman coming up the stairs. It was Ms Flutter. I stopped her and introduced myself and we talked. She was great. Easy to talk with, nice. After a long chat there was a pause and she made to leave. I asked if we could pencil in each other's names on our speed dating forms and she agreed. I couldn't tell if she was being polite or if she was actually interested.

The next day I logged into the speed dating site to check my matches. As stated earlier, of the eight women I speed dated there were no matches. However there was a single, lone match on my list interested in seeing me again. It was Ms Flutter.

To be continued.

Apr 23, 2010


at the library, wearing an interesting print robe.

Apr 21, 2010

Apr 19, 2010


at the bookstore cafe. This time I had company since an artist friend joined me and drew also.

Apr 17, 2010

Two Men

at the cafe. I drew this while sitting next to a funny smelling guy reading a Star Wars book.

Apr 13, 2010

Apr 11, 2010


take out at the playground.

Apr 9, 2010

Older Woman

on a bench near the sketchy playground. Looking at her made me feel kind of sad.

Apr 8, 2010

off topic: I'm So Dumb

I feel foolish for posting about Ms Impossible before it actually became a story. She never called back, so it's become a non-story.

I'm not surprised, but I was a bit sad about it. Not sad about her so much, but how the cosmic forces reminded me to mind my place, that I can't jump my station in life. There is a song that has been going through my head, an old TLC song that goes "Don't go chasing waterfalls / Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to".

To recap the story:

Boy meets girl.

Girl is way too hot for boy, so boy doesn't hit on her. But he does have a nice chat with her.

Girl gives phone number to boy (who didn't ask for it), telling him she never does this.

Boy frets about whether to call girl. Girl is way to hot for him, after all. He calls anyway and asks her out.

Girl doesn't call him back.

Boy goes on to live the remainder of his life as an eccentric old recluse in a basement apartment surrounded by piles of newspapers and hundreds of empty Pepto Bismal bottles.

The End


While painting in my studio earlier this evening, the Puccini aria O mio babbino caro played in my head. It's from this notable scene in A Room with a View:

What does this poetic image of romantic love have to do with my life right now? Absolutely nothing.

Okay, so I'm having a bad week. I'm writing this so I don't cave to temptation and make myself chocolate chip cookies. I'm teetering on the edge. The bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips and unsalted butter are sitting there ready to go.

Apr 5, 2010

Rotund Man

at the library. I've also drawn him at the cafe. He is kind of weird and I didn't want him to notice me but he eventually did.

off topic: Ms Impossible

Rule: An impossibly unattainably beautiful woman should never give her phone number to an ordinary guy because it will just mess him up in the head. For life.


On Thursday night, a friend invited me to a small gathering of her friends at a local watering hole. Our group sat in the outdoor beer garden on a slightly chilly early spring evening.

Seated next to me was Typically Cute. Picture an account executive from an advertising agency and imagine that she's friendly and dressed casually.

Across from me was TC's friend, the Impossibly Unattainably Beautiful Girl. Think prom queen or head of the cheer leading squad. She didn't merely have blond hair, she had a mane of silky golden locks that cascaded to her shoulders, framing an effortlessly radiant face. She was so beautiful that it didn't enter my mind to hit on her. I am a realist.

Somehow we fell to talking about deep, life-philosophy issues and it became an engaging discussion for all three of us. The gist of what I told TC is that if she has a corporate job but is instead interested in singing and music, she still has a right to pursue singing in her own way regardless of what others think. Leave it to me to tell anyone who will listen that they should follow their dreams. Ms Impossible noted that she was glad we had this talk.

At a certain point TC and Ms Impossible asked about my art and I realized I couldn't show them since I didn't have my art postcards with me. I told them I do have a website and pulled out the one business card that was tucked in my wallet. I gave it to TC. She looked at the card (which has my website, phone and email) then slid it over to Ms Impossible, saying they could share the info. Ms Impossible then put the card into her wallet. I asked TC for her information but she said "I'll just Facebook you". I didn't ask Ms Impossible for her information because I'm such a realist.

As the night came to a close, Ms Impossible unexpectedly said to me, "Let me give you my phone number."

For a moment this didn't quite register in my brain. It was like being told you will be given 2 million dollars in a briefcase. I didn't have a pen, so I handed her my cell phone. She programmed herself in as a contact while telling me, "I never give my number out, not even to guys I'm interested in."

(note: Can someone please translate what that means in this context? I don't understand Hot-Girl-ese.)

As we said our goodbyes, I hugged TC and Ms Impossible in turn and told them that we covered some pretty deep topics over beer. I told Ms Impossible it seems like we've known each other for years and she smiled and agreed.

The next day at my therapy session afternoon visit to the NY Botanical Garden with Snafugirl, I was tormented by self-doubt and uncertainty regarding the situation. If Ms Impossible gave me her phone number, does she actually expect me to call her, or is it more of a symbolic gesture? I'll have to pick up a telephony device, dial the correct sequence of numbers and talk into it, possibly with her listening on the other end? How long should I wait to call? Where should I suggest we go? Is a dinner date too formal? How about meeting for coffee? I hate calling, can I email or text instead? Snafu listened and gave suitable advice, but was adamant that I must make an old fashioned phone call.

48 Hours later, I made The Call. I got Ms Impossible's voice mail and left a message saying that I'd like to get together sometime. I know that I sounded wimpy and nervous but I couldn't help it (at least my voice didn't crack). The situation made me feel like a 13 year-old junior high school student. I had the sinking feeling that I wouldn't hear back from her.

Or would I?

Apr 1, 2010